P.S. I Loved You

Hi, 

People say, if you love something with a lot of intensity then everything in the world tries that you get it. I think this time it went wrong or maybe it’s my intensity which was not that strong. Whatever, I am tired now, tired of trying to get you, tired of giving my efforts on you which always went worthless. I am tired of trying to make myself feel good for you. Tired of hoping that this is not the real you. But now I want to accept the reality. Not the one you told me but the one which is universal. You are not mine.

I think I mistook all our fun, long chats, early morning and late night phone calls, laughs, cries, hugs cuddles, kisses as love. But it was not. I was an emotional fool who again believed in love. I won't blame you for this because you are not at fault at all. It is me who is in fault. It is my fault that I thought you really loved me when you told me you love me. I thought I was special when you gripped my hand tightly for the first time, when you hugged me everytime, when you kissed me or giving a peck on my cheeks. What a fool I was.

Instead of blaming you, I am thankful because it was only you who made me the one who I am now. You uncovered my hidden personality. You made me realize that I am the best. You let me feel my strength. You made me strong from being weak. You made me the person whom I can be proud today.

I ignored your calls, texts even e-mails. Because I still love you. Maybe I am moving on but somewhere I know some part of me still love you and accept you as you are. I just don't want to get played again. I want to be yours. Only yours. And I want you to be mine. Only mine. I’m still the person who will climb to the top of Everest for you. My love never faked. But you never realized it. You wanted to enjoy with every fucking guy. And I let you be. I don't wanted to sound possessive. But in reality, I was burning from the inside. Every time when you held someone others hand in front of me, my heart was crying from inside but l got used to it. Getting hurt became my regular habit I loved only you. I knew my past was bad as fuck. But I can't do anything for that. But I know in future if I have to choose anyone. I will choose only you. I am a man of my word. Come back. I will accept you but promise me you will never let me go. 

If you want to come back just to repeat everything then please do me a favor. Please be happy with the other guys you have dated.

P.S. I loved you.